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Keywords
A discussion about getting your web site found on the Internet simply must include the topic of keywords and keyword phrases. You can look at keywords from a couple angles.
What Is Your Web Site About?
Keywords should describe your web site. Have you ever run across one of those web sites that has a section of words, some of different font sizes seemingly scattered around? That’s called a keyword cloud. The author is using a software gimmick that counts the number of times a word is used on the web site, taking note as to whether or not the word is used in a heading, if it appears at the beginning, middle or end of a sentence and paragraph. Then the software determines how important each of the words are and builds a graphic display showing each words relative importance.
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What Will People Look For
The other way to think of keywords is to guess what people will enter in the search engine to find a web site like yours. For many this isn’t as easy as it first sounds. Fortunately, as an entertainer, you are selling a unique commodity – you! And writing about you, mentioning your name, writing about what you do should be a no brainer. As a webmaster, I would advise you to also listen carefully to your fans after the show. When they are telling you how they enjoyed your performance, listen and make note of the words they use – kind of make your own keyword cloud. Knowing what everyday folks say about you and your show may help you discover some very good niches in the search engines.
What To Do With Keywords
The idea is that you want to make sure you use your keywords and phrases in key places in your web page. Ideally, your domain name would include a primary keyword phrase like your name. The the Page Title is the next most important, followed by a heading (in larger bold letters) and a couple times at least in the rest of your text. If your page has pictures, they should be relative to the content, and so include a reference to your keyword as well.
So, when the search engine robot comes strolling down your stretch of the Internet and sees repeated references to the Joe Schmoe The Comedian over and over in prominent places, the robot will assume that this page must be about Joe Schmoe The Comedian!
Hey, I told you this is not rocket science. And in fairness to the SEO gurus out there, it becomes a completely new ball game when you’re selling what the public believes is the same thing a thousand other places are selling. And, you don’t want to over do it either. If you stuff your pages with keywords it becomes annoying to read and the robots can pick it up too and your pages will be penalized – maybe not indexed at all!
Search Engines
Search Engines
We would be lost without Internet Search Engines. Without them, there would be no practical way to locate all the information out there on the World Wide Web.
There are hundreds of search engines available, but Google is the Big Kahuna. Google says we did 1.2 trillion searches in 2012. (I know Washington tosses “trillion” around like a worn sock but a trillion is a huge number.) And, there billions (in the neighborhood of 9 – 10 billion) web pages too see.
Google posted an interesting video about all those searches.
Getting your web pages to be found among all the rest may seem like a overwhelming task. In fact this problem has been the foundation of whole new industry called SEO; or Search Engine Optimization. They will gladly take many of your dollars in return for the promise to try to improve your web site search engine ranking. We’re talking big money here, not chump change. My research wasn’t extensive but SEO will cost in the range of $75 to $200 per hour. Most SEO business is done per project and has a wide range of $1,700 to $5,000. And this is the part that gets me; they don’t guarantee a damned thing!
Google says that they keep the algorithm as to how they rank Internet pages top secret. Allegedly, no single individual knows or has access the whole thing. But people, smart people, smart people with a lot of money and power pay large sums of money to an SEO who MIGHT be able to help.
Between that stupidity and the popularity of Honey Boo Boo, it’s no wonder Obama got re-elected.
It’s all actually pretty straight forward. A little background and common sense applied to web pages and blogs, and your site will soar to the top of the search lists! That probably sounds pretty arrogant, but I have lot’s of web pages ranking very well for their planned search terms. And I didn’t pay any one a dime to do it. Okay, wait, that’s not true. I’ve spent hundreds for software programs, books and some of those page long advertisements that suck you in to the deal of a life time. Yeah, I did all that to learn that what Google and the other search engines will tell you for free actually works.
So, in the coming weeks I will post additional articles to follow up on this one. We’ll cover topics like;
- Keywords and Keyword Phrases
- How to determine your keywords
- Spiders and Web Robots
- Your Robots Text File
- What Google is looking for
- Meta Tags
- What is page indexing
- What you should know about hyperlinks
- Free tools to help you analyze your site
To make sure you don’t miss even one exciting episode, please sign up for our weekly news letter. The sign up form is over there on the right and scroll up a little bit. New issues are delivered to your email box early Wednesday mornings.
Your comments, questions and ideas are always welcome – see the comment section below? That’s where you do it! Anybody can leave a comment. They’re all moderated to prevent spamming, but if you play nice, yours will be posted.
I will make the same promise to you that the SEO company makes and it won’t cost you a dime. If you do what I suggest, your pages might end up ranking higher. No, actually I can be stronger than that. Your pages WILL rank higher and I’d be surprised if they don’t show up in the top ten listings. In fact if they don’t, I’ll double your money back! Get an SEO company to make that promise!
Dogs Deserve Better
We Love Dogs
If you love dogs too, consider adopting or donating to Dogs Deserve Better. We at Hysterical Management have worked with DDB and they are a great organization. Even a few bucks will be appreciated – it goes straight to them by the way – we’re just sponsoring this page for the holidays.
Dogs Deserve Better
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Angela is an American Bull Dog who spent her life in a pen before coming into rescue. She goes for walks and bike rides daily by her foster Dad. Angela loves Nylabones and could use a new supply of poop bags and a collapsible water bowl or water bottle for those long walks and rides. Treats are also a nice reward for such a daily work out!
Barkley is a Beagle boy shunned to a pen for years but is now comfortable in a foster home. Barkley entertains everyone with his ability to sit and beg for his treats like no other! Beagle is one lazy boy in the morning and loves to sleep in! Barkley is a cuddly and well behaved boy who loves to eat and is now on light food and would appreciate any treat or chew offered to him, but low calorie…please.
Bella – This 12 year old girl was chained and penned since she was 4 months old and is now 12 years old! This sweet girl was referred to as “puppy”. Her owners died and the children called AC to come and “pick her up” She was in horrific condition and DDB was contacted by a local shelter and asked, should we just give her a burger and send her over the bridge? Dogs Deserve Better replied “we will take her”. 3 months later this beautiful, spirited girl named Bella (beautiful in Italian) is happy, energetic, playful and loving. She is slow on her feet but loves to play with toys, chew on Nylabones, bullie sticks and bright bites and curl up on a soft dog bed. She has a wonderful appetite and loves treats! Bella gets bathed weekly as she has bad skin due to lack of care and a poor diet so she would love some soothing shampoo to make her skin feel good.
Bernard is a sweet old guy who came to the Good Newz Rehab Center from his chained life in North Carolina. He’s totally adorable, and just loves to play despite his age. He also runs like a nut in the field on the walks, and is loving to all people who come across his path. He’d love nothing more than his own home for the holidays. He also loves toys, treats, a new martindale collar and leash, and could use some heartworm and flea meds.
Buddy is a sweet Spaniel mix that was rescued from his chain in Michigan after his owner moved away and left him with no provisions. At the time of his rescue, Buddy had a severe ear infection and a severe skin condition caused by fleas. Buddy is the most laid back dog anyone could ask for. He’ll let you know when he needs to go outside to do his business but then he’s right back inside for another nap. He gets along well with children and other dogs but spends most of his time at his master’s side. Buddy loves meal time, a good belly scratching and when people are around. While he might have slight hearing loss, he still barks and will protect HIS house. He has such a warm, loving personality that it’s hard not to love him! Buddy could use his own dog bed because he will sometimes hog the bed of Harley, the dog he lives with. Buddy could use a few low calorie dog treats, he is on the plump side due to him being lazy and not wanting to exercise.
Buster was removed from his life on a chain in July after 13 long years of freezing winters and sweltering summers. He is now free and thriving in his foster home. He has completed heartworm treatment and is healthy and he loves rolling over on his back for belly rubs and playing with the kittens in the home. He would love to have a dog bed to call his own and loves toys to play with and pig ears to chew on.
Chaos is a Red Nosed Pit bull who mothered 7 litters of pups and is currently in foster care after being awarded to DDB through the court system and is now learning to be an upstanding citizen. Chaos would love to have some Nylabones which all bullies love, and a new leash and collar that is her own instead of one that so many fosters have worn before her.
Copper – spent his life on a chain in Tennessee, and was fostered there for awhile before coming to to Virginia to the Good Newz Rehab Center. He is smart as a whip, and learns commands the fastest of all the dogs at the center. He is still looking for his forever home, and he would love that to be you! Otherwise he loves indestructible chew toys and treats, as well as a new martindale collar and leash, and heartworm and flea and tick meds. Thank you!
Emma came to the Good Newz Rehab Center with her sister Lucy, who got adopted. Emma is still waiting for her forever home. She’s a standoffish girl who loves to be near you but not really made over. She also is one of the few who appears to like men a little better than women. She is allergic to grain, so she would love to have some grain free treats and food donated. She also would love a new martindale collar and leash, as well as heartworm and flea meds.
Ginger came off of a chain in MA in early October. She is a 9 year old female who was chained all day long and slept alone on a couch in the basement all night. Ginger is a loving medium energy girl who is living with a fantastic couple who love her and are teaching her how to live inside the home during the day. Ginger would love some toys as she has never played catch with a ball or had a squeaky toy to speak of. She might like some cookies too. She would also like her own blanket for the winter to put in her crate when her foster mom goes out for a few hours. Ginger is such a sweet loving dog.
Heath is a playful chocolate pit mix that craves human attention. Giving kisses, playing with toys and playing with the water sprinkler are just a few of the activities he enjoys. Heath and his yardmate Hershey were seized in a cruelty case in Texas. Heath is being fostered in Texas, and would dearly love to receive a package, and could use a dog blanket, dog bed, toys, treats, and heartworm and flea meds.
Hef spent his whole life on a chain in rural Virginia before coming to the Good Newz Rehab Center. He would love a new blanket, some soft toys, a new martindale collar and leash, and some heartworm and flea meds.
Honey comes from an Amish PA puppy mill where she lived for her entire 3-4 years of life breeding, giving birth, and nursing and then starting all over again. Our DE rep bought her for 30 dollars when the Amish were going to kill her since she wasn’t producing enough puppies for them anymore. Now she is in rescue in MA working on her housebreaking issues, and being loved, cared for and rehabilitated physically and mentally. Honey would love a new soft bed to sleep on and even a blankie to keep warm this winter. She would love a new leash and maybe a toy too.
Jack is a black lab that was chained most of his 5 years of life and eventually he was surrendered to DDB. Jack is living with his foster family and his four legged friend. He is heartworm positive but undergoing slow kill treatment. He could use a new bed and blanket, toys, treats, and heartworm and flea meds.
Jada is a sweet and spunky pibble girl who is still waiting for her forever home at the Good Newz Rehab Center. She is a chewer, so she needs really strong toys and bones that will not be easily destroyed and won’t harm her. She’d also like some heartworm and flea meds, and a new martindale collar and leash. Thank you!
Jordan had a rough start to life, she lived on a chain like most of them, and then after rescue in Texas went to Spindletop, which ended up getting raided a few months ago. She was then transported to the Good Newz Rehab Center, where she showed us just what a little lovebug she can be! She just wiggles with excitement whenever you come to give her lovins! She’d love her forever home, and she also needs some really strong toys for chewing, as well as a nice blanket and some heartworm and flea medications.
Chelsea spent his entire life living in a small pen, neglected by his owner. Eventually his owner moved away and left Kane behind. He was rescued by Michigan Rep Patricia Aldering. Kane is a senior dog who lost most of his hearing and is also losing his vision but that doesn’t stop him from having the time of his life! He loves toys, all types of toys but plush toys are his favorite, and he also loves to gnaw on bones. Kane is very gently when taking treats from your hand, so a nice supply of treats would make his day! Kane is extremely friendly with humans, loves to romp in the backyard and play with his toys gnaw on dog bones. He is goofy and will make you laugh every day. Kane loves going for car rides and also long walks. Kane does not like being around male dogs but he gets along very well with female dogs and even allows them to boss him around. Kane is being fostered in Kalamazoo Michigan. (in a temporary foster, long term foster or forever home is needed.)
Klaus lived in a pen in TN chained inside the pen with 5 other dogs. The food was thrown to him and the other dogs right next to all the feces in their pen. He was heartworm positive and neglected terribly. Since coming up north Klaus has been totally treated for Heartworm and is all better from that and living with a foster family as you can see in the pictures. Klaus would love a blanket and even a dog bed and toys if he could have that.
Lady is a senior girl who has been chained her entire life. Lady has a tough time eating hard food and hard treats but she loves her soft food and soft treats! Lady is 13 years old, is suffering from lymphoma and has arthritis. She was chained her entire life and now loves to curl up in a soft spot to rest her weary bones and would love a therapeutic bed to allow her to be as comfortable as possible. Lady also likes to chew on Nylabones and curl up with a soft toy.
Lilly is a 1 year old black Labrador retriever mix with some Greyhound in her too. She was chained up to a dumpster in MS in a Walmart parking lot. A rescuer took her in and called me to take over the case since I have worked with scared shy dogs before. Lilly is with her foster mom in KY and is coming along an inch a day. Lilly is learning to trust. She lives with 4 other dogs. She goes for walks every day. She has been on a boat. She has done a make-shift obstacle course and is moving along slow and steady. Lilly is a loving girl who can have all the time she needs to adjust to the world at her own pace. Please sponsor Lilly. She would love a blanket, a ball, some cookies and maybe even a bottle of shampoo.
Lucy is 3 years old and has been in foster for almost a year after being rescued from her chain. She was scared and skinny but now is vibrant and social. Lucy wants nothing more than her own family for Christmas this year, although a few hearty bones, Kong toys and some tennis balls would be ok too.
Mabel is a Lab Hound Mix girl who was chained as a puppy and remained chained for 3 years! Mabel is now enjoying her freedom and loves treats and bones. Mabel loves to run and play and go for car rides and would make a fabulous family member
Maggie is one of 8 pups that have been in foster care since New Years Eve 2012. Maggie’s litter was born to her Mom while chained to a shed. Maggie is a swimmer, fetcher and a lover! Maggie would love to have a new dog bed to call her own and toys that she can swim and play fetch with. Maggie is a smart cookie so some puppy proof puzzles would be wonderful to keep her busy.
Marley is a sweet young girl who was rescued as a puppy in Missouri. She came over to the Good Newz Rehab Center, and is in a foster home, where she would love to get a package! She could use a new blanket, a dog bed, treats, toys, and heartworm and flea meds.
Mason is a Boxer/Pitbull mix and has been in foster care for a very long time. Mason is very playful and fun loving. Mason loves to snuggle in comforters and pillows. Mason doesn’t play much with toys but he loves Dentastix and any kind of treat or bone.
Nala is an old girl who was rescued from a pen in Virginia, and is now loving at the Good Newz Rehab Center. She would love some Glucosamine and Chondroiton, as well as a nice dog blanket, a new martindale collar and leash, and a nice soft toy or two. She actually likes to play with them when the other dogs will let her keep it. She could also use some heartworm and flea meds.
Polly has done a lot of traveling for care in her young life! She was rescued from a hoarding situation in Missouri, adopted in Delaware, was turned away immediately due to her extreme shyness, went to PA to be fostered, and then came to the Good Newz Rehab Center, where she’s been since we started. She still has trouble learning to like men and kids, but she loves women and would make a great companion for a single woman who lives alone. She’s love a new dog blanket, some soft toys, a new martindale collar and leash, and some heartworm and flea meds.
Reba is a red nosed pitbull who was confiscated from the chain by Animal Contol. Reba loves to exercise on her treadmill and is working with a trainer to become more socialized and well behaved. Reba would like some “bullie” proof toys and some new fillers for her Kong Toys to keep her busy when she is not getting a work out!
Sammi is a black pit bull who was chained after one of the children got ashma and then she was surrendered to DDB. Sammi is in foster care and doing fantastic with 3 other dogs and one cat. She is a sweet, loving, loyal bully. She would love a new bed and blanket, as well as indestructible toys, and heartworm and flea and tick meds.
Shawnee is being fostered in Richmond, Virginia, and would love to get a package there. She would love a new dog blanket, a dog bed, some toys, treats, new martindale collar and leash, and heartworm and flea meds.
Simon is an American Bull Dog who was chained while his sibling was penned. Simon is in a foster home that exercises him daily by going on a run or a bike ride. Simon would love to have a water bottle to quench his thirst on those long walks and rides. Simon also loves his Nylabones!
Taz is an 11 month old shep mix male who lived in a pen with his mother and father chained right in front of him in Nashville TN and one other dog with them chained also. When our Nashville representative offered the couple a fence to free up all 4 dogs, the father of Taz attacked Taz since both males were not neutered. One of the volunteers putting up the fencing grabbed Taz to break up the fight and threw him in her car and decided to foster him and take him with her to KY. He is living with 4 other dogs. Taz had no socialization with humans while living penned for his entire 11 months of life. He is so smart and loving that we feel he is highly adoptable. He just got neutered and will be put up for adoption soon. Please consider sponsoring Taz.
Order Your
Dogs Deserve Better
2013 14-Month Calendars! Featuring 28 Happy-Ending Stories and Pics
Order Your Dogs
Deserve Better 2012
Holiday Greeting Cards!
A New Name for Worthless:
A Hero is Born
Capitol In Chains – 54 Days of the Doghouse Blues
Unchain My Heart,
DDB Happy-Ending
Rescue Stories
Scream Like Banshee, as featured in The American Dog Magazine!
Order Your Puddles Paks for Humane Education
We have lots of posters
for you to cover your neighborhood
Order Puddles On the Floor: Great Book for Grade School Children
Holiday Attire & Gifts
for the Season
Comedian Marketing Campaign
Comedian Marketing Idea
As stand up comedians, you have a brilliant opportunity to to better utilize resources you probably already have to develop a terrific comedian marketing campaign! You just need to move all the puzzle pieces around to come together and develop a real marketing campaign.
Your Fan Base
As you travel and perform, you perform in front of hundreds of people every week. Over a year – thousands. Many of those folks really liked you! Trouble is, when you leave East Bumphuc Montana, most of them will never hear or see you again. It’s sad really. Because they are potential fans, they are interested in you and would love to see you again next time you come to town.
Imagine if all those people knew in advance when you were coming back to their town. Imagine if all those people knew as soon as your new CD became available.
You Got To Show Them The Love
Fans are interested in you. They feel a connection to you. They demonstrate their connection by wearing T-shirts, posting online, and would totally flip over getting periodic messages from you. They get to know where you are performing, funny stories about what happened on the road, and when the new product is coming out and how to buy it – NOW. They would know when you are coming back to their town, so they could make plans to see you again – making you a draw for the venue. The whole thing really promotes the your brand throughout the whole year. (Think about having several hundred fans you’ve been keeping in touch with from all over the country getting news first hand as soon as your CD is available! The initial burst of CD sales could be huge!)
It’s Not Difficult and It’s Free
Best of all, doing all that is free, and you don’t have to anything much different than you do now!
There is a mailing service called Mailchimp. They’re one of a few really good mail service outfits. And they have a program that allows you to have as many as 2,000 subscribers and send as many as 12,000 emails a month for free. Once you grow beyond that, you have to get a paid account but at that point it would seem you could afford it and they have some really affordable options.
People add their names to your email list right from your web site. So during your show, you promote the idea, tell people to sign up. They even have an app for a smartphone, if you have one, that allows you to have the person enter their info to your phone for you to upload later, and another similar program you could run on a laptop. They have a special program for Facebook too.
Then, you can send messages to directed just to those people or they would receive updates every time you post something to your web site automatically! The emails by the way are ‘pretty’ emails. With color and pictures if you want. And, the mail service makes certain it’s all legal, so you’ll not be in danger of being accused of spamming.
You can do all this on your own at zero cost. If it seems too daunting, I could do most of it for you. It takes about an hour to setup, I would charge $25 for the setup – a one time charge. You still have to setup your own Mailchimp account – but again if you stay within their limitations – it’s totally free.
Take a look at Mailchimp (mailchimp.com) and let me know what you think about the idea.
Oh, and before I forget, please subscribe to my newsletter. That way when some new pearls of Internet wisdom are posted here, you will be the first to know. The sign up form is on the lower right hand of this page. You’ll get to see what your fans will see when they sign up on your web site.
Domain Names
A Domain Name is sort of like an international phone number that enables Internet users to find a particular web site easily.
There’s an organization called Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) that has the responsibility of making sure that every domain name is unique and keeping track of here each domain is located on the Internet.
You can register a domain name with a Registrar or reseller (like Hysterical Management). Not all registrars and resellers offer identical terms and conditions. Some are actually pretty scummy and limit you (the registrant) in the things you may want to do with your domain name. They end up extorting money from the registrant. A separate article on these scams is scheduled for publication soon.
Hysterical Management is not the least expensive place to register a domain name, but it’s perfectly safe. We charge $17.95 per year for domain registration.
Top Level Domain
The most common TLD’s are .com, .org, .edu, .gov. Of those four, you’re most likely qualified to register for one – the .com . The others are reserved for non-profits, schools and the government. You can also register for .net, .biz, or .name. Technically there’s no difference one to the other. It’s just that most people will default to .com when they’re looking for a web site. That’s why .com domain names are considered ‘better’ than others. (As a point of interest, as of today, December 2, 2012) there are 316 top level domains. Many you would never guess.)
Entertainers have the advantage (or curse) that they will often want to use their name as the domain name. The curse comes in if you have a very common name – because the name will already be taken. But, even if you’re a comedian with the name John Kennedy, you could still register johnkennedycomedy.com – Yup, it’s available.
Choosing words that you think people will use in trying to find your web site as part of the domain name is an excellent search engine strategy. Some one searching for ‘john kennedy comedy’ on Google is going to end up with our sample web site at the top of the list even though there are hundreds of thousands of other John Kennedy related sites.
So, give your possible domain name a little thought. Think of several acceptable possibilities. Then, find out if the name is available for your to register or not. You can do that right here by the way. We have a simple Domain Checker program that will tell you right away if your domain name is available for registration or not. If it is available, you can register it right away and set up your hosting account too. It doesn’t cost or obligate you in any way to check. Click Here For Domain Name Checker
Your comments and questions are welcome.
Java Update Failure
Java is a computer programming language first introduced in 1995. According to Oracle, the developer of Java;
“Java runs on more than 850 million personal computers worldwide, and on billions of devices worldwide, including mobile and TV devices”
I suppose that when there are that many things dependent upon Java, it’s only a matter of time before some glitches appear. Such appears to be the case with Java Updater; at least for some Windows products.
The Java update failure is actually a few years old! I believe it born out of disputes between Microsoft and Oracle – Microsoft doesn’t like to share some of it’s inner workings and how developers can work with it. And, the ones that pay the price in aggravation are you and me, the very ones that use and pay for their products.
Not everyone seems to have the problem. It seems to plague Windows operating systems primarily. And those users that have taken steps to protect their computers by not giving Administrative privileges to all users. (A wise thing to do in my opinion.) For those people, they will notice that shortly after start up, Java Updater will notify them that there is an update available and encourage the user to update. After the update is approved, they are advised that the update failed.
This goes on for days, weeks, and months. The user is finally so frustrated they do a Google search for answers and that’s probably how you came to find this post.
Well, I have some good news, and some bad news for you. The good news is that I have a fix for you. The bad news is that it may not be a permanent fix; you may ave to repeat periodically until Java finally figures out how to deal with it.
You do not want to ignore the updates. Most often the update is required because some ass hole in the Ukraine with nothing better to do has figured out a way to exploit some weakness in the older version of Java and screw with your computer. (I am convinced that there is a deep, dark and horrible place in hell waiting for these people.)
So, here’s what you you do. Visit the Java site itself where you test if you have Java on your computer, and if it’s up to date. Go to http://java.com/en/download/testjava.jsp They will have the current instructions on how to get rid of older versions of Java on your computer, and install the current version.
As of this writing, the procedure is to remove old Java the same way you remove other programs in your computer control panel. Then, download and install the newest version recommended for your system.
They claim that the updater on the newer versions will operate properly. I personally have my doubts. This has been a pretty big deal in the computing world for quite some time. If there had been a genuine solution it would require that Microsoft would have to play nice with others and Java admit that they had a problem in the first place. Neither has happened. So, I think this problem will be with us for a while longer.
You are welcome to write about your own experience in the comments area below.
Hysterical Management Announces It’s Promotional Division
Carol Pennington, owner of Hysterical Management and 25 year stand-up veteran, is well known in the industry for providing the nations funniest professional stand-up comedians in quality venues across the country.
Miss Pennington’s secret of success centers on quality and integrity. Those same important qualities are found within the Promotional Division.
“We’ve enjoyed some great success on the Internet. I’m glad we’ve found a way to share our expertise with our comics and venues to help in their own business development”
- Carol Pennington